The little things

When someone close to you passes away, often it's the little things that make you sad . . . this is a list of the little things Kayleigh did that I miss...

1. Running outside, arms outstretched, yelling 'Mummy' when I got home from work - to give me a hug
2. The sound of Kayleigh turning over in bed at night - she always hit the wall with her foot or hand -it's so quiet now.
3. Waking me up by shaking my hand on Sunday morning to ask if she can cook eggs for her breakfast
4. Kayleigh standing in her bedroom doorway, watching me on the treadmill, when she was supposed to be asleep. Smiling at me and telling me I was doing good. I till look over today when I am on the treadmill - sometimes it feel like she is still there.
5. Talking to Kayleigh when she was in bed - telling me about her day, the people she hung out with, and the boys that asked her out.
6. Kayleigh asking me what she is supposed to do on her assignment cause 'I just don't get it'
7. Kayleigh making cups of tea made for Terence and I - and then making one for herself.
8. Her smile
9. Her laugh
10. Her tears when she was upset.

Dragonheart

Dragonheart was Kayleigh's favourite movie when she was little. We had it on video and one DVD - we have not yet been able to find it on Blu-ray. You would think that at the age of 4, she would have preferred movies like 101 Dalmations or The Little Mermaid - but no - Dragonheart was it. I don't know if at that age she understood the movie that much, but he loved the dragon. Th story may have been a little on the dark side but she loved it - when I think about it, it did reflect the way Kayleigh was - she was not a girly girl at all.

Kayleigh would watch Dragonheart almost every day, and everyday she would cry when the dragon died and we would have to re-wind the movie to show her that the dragon was still 'alive' and it was only a movie. Still, the next time she would watch it, she would again cry. It was so sweet that she cared that much about a make-believe dragon.

Preschool

Kayleigh went to Theodore Preschool in 2000 - her teachers were Moira and Vera. Kayleigh loved Moira (as all preschoolers do with their teachers) but didn't like Vera. Kaylegh went on Wednesday afternoon 12:30 to 3:00 and Thursday and Friday mornings from 9:00m to 1:00pm. She was always so excited to go. The only book she borrowed that year was 'The Tiger who came to tea' - she would return it one week and then borrow it again the week after. Kayleigh probably didn't like Vera that much because one day we were running late and couldn't find her drink bottle - we grabbed the only thing we had - a can on Schweppes lemonade. Kayleigh came home upset that afternoon because Vera wouldn't let her drink it.

Kayleigh made me a picture for Mother day - we all know the ones - "I Love my Mum because ' with a hand drawn picture. Kayleigh had written - 'I Love my Mum because i just do.' Terence got ' i Love my Dad because he plays with me in the Garden' on Father's day.

I can't remember Kayleighs friends from Preschool - One was called Grace but she went to a different primary school.

On the last day of Preschool, Kayleigh was sent home early because she had developed Chicken Pox. This actually sticks in my mind most as Kayleigh didn't have asthma before she had Chicken Pox but she did after - the Chicken pox triggered the asthma, or damaged her lungs (you can get chicken pox on your internal organs)

Climbing

Kayleigh liked to climb - on everything. From a young age up until she died, she would take every opportunity to climb on things. Kayleigh managed to climb onto a top bunk by the age of 9 months, and learnt to climb back down by the time Natassja was born. Kayleigh climbed trees, and playground equipment, and other structures.

We were down at Calwell Shops about 2 weeks before she passed away and she climbed to the top of the bandstand/gazebo thing in front of the shops - and I mean all the way, hanging off the structure. I could stand underneath her and she still couldn't touch the top of my head it was that far up. At Bunnings, she would jump up and hang on the top of the playgrounds hand rail and monkey up until she was hanging off the top handrail from the highest point of the bridge part in the playground. Kayleigh had amazing upper body strenght (her PE teacher could have told you this).

Just hanging around

Sneaking chocolate

Kayleigh loved chocolate -she especially liked the chocolate that her dad bought for himself as she keep sneaking pieces and she was very good at covering it up, or making sure there was more than one person to tell off.

When we were watching a movie, or asleep, Kayleigh would go to the fridge and take some pieces of chocolate. If one of her brothers or sisters caught her she would give them some - that way if we caught them there was at least two of them to tell off. If we didn't catch them then, Kayleigh would brush her teeth so her breath would not smell of chocolate and then when we found the chocolate gone, only the other child would be told off for eating chocolate and not her. Very sneaky!

Only thing is, Kayleigh could not lie to save herself - we could tell in an instance whether she had taken something that wasn't hers as her facial expressions gave her away every time - as soon as we said 'We know you did it' she would confess - as she said to her siblings - it's better to say you did it and get in trouble, then lie, get caught out for lying as well and get in three times as much trouble.

Rainbow

In year 4, Kayleigh had a thing for rainbow stuff. She had a rainbow jumper, a rainbow scarf, rainbow gloves and a rainbow beanie. Going out with her in all her rainbow gear was very colourful :) She was Even on the lookout for rainbow socks. She never got out of her rainbow ething' but she did grow out of her jumper and lost her beanie. I accidentally washed her gloves in a hot wash and the shrunk to an unbelievably small size (oops!). Kayleigh started replacing her stuff with Chelsea gear and England stuff in High school. I guess she felt that people might tease her for being so colourful and 'out there'.

Kayleigh in her rainbow gear :)

Poem I wrote after Kayleigh passed away

It seems like only yesterday

That you were here with us

Telling off your brothers

And creating quite a fuss

You were so full of life and loving
Caring about everything
It seems too cruel that you were taken
And left us here with this

We tried so hard to save you
To bring you back to us
Although everything we tried
Was not to be enough

When the doctor said your heart was there
But your soul had gone away
I only thought about your life
And wished I could turn back time - just a day

But we are here and you are gone
Never to return
We are left with sadness
And ask the question ‘why her’

Your friends were all heartbroken
You left them without warning
Not a chance to say goodbye
Not even just a reason

Your teachers were left speechless
You were at school the day before
Although they were there to teach you things
In fact you taught them more

But eventually their lives move on
And you become a memory
A schoolgirl friend they left behind
And eventually become a ‘somebody’

Somebody they once knew
Somebody that passed away
Somebody that they cared for
Somebody – what’s her name

They do not mean to forget you
Life gets in the way
They have to keep on going
They may remember you some day

But for me your picture sit in a frame
And I look at you each passing day
And although the colour slowly fades
My memory remains clear

I miss your smile, your bright blue eyes
Your happiness and cheer
I also miss our arguments
Because it meant you were still here

Most of all I miss our talks
Of me saying ‘I love you’
And you looking back at me
Saying ‘Mum, I Love you too.’