Forgiveness

Kayleigh was very forgiving to all people that she knew. We always brought her up to be nice to everyone, no matter what they were like. Terence told Kayleigh to be extra nice to people that were nasty to her as it disarmed them and gave them nothing to be nasty about. We told her to think about not what the nasty people were saying but the reason why they might be saying it - they might not even be lashing out at her,  they might be having a bad day or something might be going wrong at home or something.

There was only one person that Kayleigh would never forgive. A girl that bullied Natassja and to some extent Kayleigh - it was physical bullying (not just verbal) and the only reason we could conclude about why was that this girl thought it was fun. Kayleigh could never forgive this.

Kayleigh biggest bully from primary school, Kayleigh would still be nice to and talk to when we saw her at the shops. She didn't have to like her, but there was no reason to be nasty herself.

Kayleigh somehow could forgive people for what they did, something that I wish I could do, to be  better person. To forgive people for their faults and see the good in them.an to not hold grudges.

In the last couple of months before Kayleighs death, she had a falling out with two people in her friendship group "H and S" - the reason was rather silly - it started in PE when they were playing touch football - Kayleigh said 'Pass the ball to me so we can get a try' and one of these girls took that to man 'you're too slow, i'm faster so you can't score' (or something like that). Then later in the game, the other girl was complaining of a grass allergy and they all suggested that she rinse her arms in water. as they were on the Calwell ovals there was no water close by - they started getting a bit silly saying - you need a river, or a lake or the ocean. Kayleigh piped up and said 'Just use the storm water drain ' (as a joke) and the girl who initially was pissed at Kayleigh turned around and said 'Nice one Kayleigh, you just want her to drown'. H and S then walked off. H especially turned nasty - she told people that Kayleigh had AIDS (which also meant I had a great conversation with Kayleigh about what AIDs was) and pretended o push her in front of a car at the end of school. She deliberately bumped into her between classes and made fun of her weight.

What did Kayleigh do about this. after talking about it with us, she ignored the behaviour for a few weeks to let the emotions settle. Then when she saw H or S by themselves she would say Hi and smile then keep going. Kayleigh realised that H had alot going o in he life outside of school and some of this might be related to how she was acting. Kayleigh chose not to hold a grudge or to be nasty. She chose to settle things down and find a way to at least be civil to each other. They had got to he 'Hi, how are you' stage when Kayleigh died.

The one thing that stood out after is that the people who had been nasty to Kayleigh have now realised that they can't take it back - they can't say sorry for what they did. H came up to me after the funeral and said that she was sorry - the things they were fighting over was just because she wanted someone to be angry at - she had chosen to be angry at Kayleigh for little reason and now she couldn't take back that time. I must say I wasn't really impressed and told her to think about Kayleigh next time she just wanted to be angry at someone for no reason ( I am not as good as Kayleigh at forgiveness) and then re-think about what she was doing because sometimes you do things that you can't take back ever.